Hermitness, Worthiness, Rachel Berriness

It's only been like a day and I'm already back it. I guess I have had a lot to say - and just chose not to say it. Now I can't seem to shut it up! :) But some of you seem to like it! Thanks for the kind texts and comments I received. I'm not sure that this really a talent - I'm just being honest. But I'm glad that I have a couple fans. Maybe you all will inspire me to keep writing. For the record, I'm still going about this whole hermit thing (see Turning Right). I kind of like it. Not really. I've begun to miss life on the outside. It's awfully boring hanging out with yourself and your own thoughts. Anyway, happy reading! :)

A recent turn of events has popped the word "worthy" in my head. Ever though about it? It's sort of, well, I don't know. I guess it is what it is. But it's really stuck the past couple weeks, and it seems that all the things goin' on at the moment are currently revolving around it. Hell, even the episode of Glee I was watching the other day brought about the word. Rachel, for those of you aren't Gleeks, is the fabulously beautiful and talented musician, but she's a bit of a control freak. Anyway, I've never been as talented as her - she's magnificent - but I sometimes think we're a lot the same. She sings a song and the lyrics just hit home, "What can you do when your good isn't good enough?"

All our lives we've been told to be the best we can be - to never give up on what we want - to keep pushing through - look for the light at the end of the tunnel - but what happens when you've given all you got, and that's still not good enough? What happens when no matter what you do, you find yourself unworthy? Tough stuff, I know. But that's what's currently on my mind. Hang in there, it gets better.

I was arguing with someone the other day, imagine that. :) I think it's what the two of us do best - and the word worthy found it's way into that conversation as well. As I thought about the things that were said, I sort of had this realization. What makes a person worthy of a friendship? I thought about it a long time, and by long time, I mean a few hours. But the answer I came up with was...nothing. Honestly, I cannot give enough to someone to be worthy of their friendship. Depressing, right? Na dawg. What I realized - it's okay!

Friendship is a two-way street (how many times is this statement overused?). Anyway, what I found, or I guess it's more just what I think than anything, but what one person is lacking, whether they admit it or not, they other person makes up for. That's what makes a friendship a friendship. Maybe that's why a "real" friendship (perhaps a future blog post) can surpass anything and make it through the toughest of stuff. I'm not sure that I believe in soul mates, or people that we are destined to be with, but I think that the people in our lives that we choose to keep in our lives give us something that we maybe can't give ourselves. Does that make sense? Maybe that's why we attach ourselves, and if something happens to that friendship, our earth is shattered, at least for a little while. When you take away those important qualities that somebody brings to your life, of course you'll be in turmoil. You're missing not only person but what they bring to your life.

If only this worked in every situation. I guess there's days when everyone feels like they don't measure up, that they aren't good enough, or not worthy, and maybe I've just had a bunch in the past couple weeks. But at least when they day is over, you have those friends - the friends that know you - the friends that provide you with what you need, even if they don't always know what that is - the friends that love you unconditionally (something I thought only existed between parents and children). Talk to them. Love them. Be friends. And face the world together. Limits no longer exist.

And for pete's sake, don't be a hermit like me! :) Like I said, eventually, it gets boring.